Saturday, April 23, 2005

Not My Rachel(warning, long post ahead)

for those who've been getting the wrong idea, no its not rachel thats been giving me problems. infact everything's fine. infact we haven had any problems for some time, cept that last fondling case which wasnt her fault.

i wont mention names, yet, but i'll give u some hints first.
the culprit responsible for my prev post was my 2nd longest running gf i ever had, and the one where i had the most problems with. for those who noe me personally would be able to figure that out even w/o having to mention that, but if those who dun, read on.

since i'm bored at work and with nothing else to do while waiting in between calls, i shall give u, my fans, a little history lesson about all the prev girls i've dated. of coz one of the reason was coz, liyana, ashraf's gf, asked me this question "so have u ever dated a malay girl?" i couldnt help was literally laugh out loud. come on ppl, just because i have a thing for chinese girls, why of which i will explain later, does not mean, i only go for chinese girls. and those who think i'm some kinda buaya, your wrong. i dun just go for any girl, and i dun just fuck around, etc. i do NOT abuse my good looks. thats so unethical. with gd looks, comes great responsibility. now on to history lesson.

1st ever gf: Audrey.
this was back when i was in sec3, around september i think. she was one of my close female frens i had back then. of coz one of my frens shamelessly saboh me into asking her if she would like to be my bf. i never had any gf before u see, she's cute and all. i liked her, and vice versa, but i doubt there was anything more than that. broke up after around a mth. no emotional dmg, it was ok. not like we did much anyway.
met where: sec sch
total time: 1mth

2nd gf: Saharah
now she's the first serious gf i ever had. the one that prolly had the most impact on me, even now. dun jump to conclusions now ppl, lemme finish myself. she was the prettiest malay girl in my lvl. now let that sink in for a while. take note that i was an uber dork back then. not as moody as now, but still a dork nontheless. almost an outcast. had frens everywhere but never really belonged to particular group. there was theepan and sherman of coz, my best frens then, still am. i severely lacked any self-confidence and had inferiority complex. interesting huh? anyway how did i managed to get her when i was just a dork? well at first diff frens told me rumours about her liking and being interested in me. at first it was prolly in late sec3, after i've broken up with audrey, when one of her frens, during recess, came up to me and asked if i was still with audrey, and since i wasnt, he asked if his fren could get to know me. well i wasnt well versed with courting rituals back then, so i said yeah, why not. of coz nothing happened after that, didnt really matter to me. then in sec 4, in jan, a gd fren of mine, muneer, told me she likes me. being the no-confidence kinda person, i asked him to go to hell coz i doubt anyone of her calibre would be interested in ME. me least of all. i had nothing to offer. i was dorky, i thought i was ugly, and i was a sw fanatic(still am, but i dun show it as much anymore, haha) nothing really impressive. then another instance, another gd fren, lutfi, was telling me that during assembly, when we were singing the national anthem, he caught her checking me out, and when she saw that she was caught she quickly act blur and went back to singing and looking at the flag. again i thought he was just joking. then another group of fren was telling me that she was interesting in me, again i dismissed it. one day, i sat down, and used my brains for a bit. many different groups of frens, telling me the same damn thing. could it be a conspiracy? nah, these group of frens do not mix much with each other. which meant, THE RUMOURS WERE TRUE OMGWTFHAVEIDONE!?
that was 2weeks before vday 99. took the liberty of getting her number from muneer, who was a mutual fren of saharah. chat her up. she was surprised to receive my call, coz she had given up on trying to attract the attention of my dense head. haha.courted her for the 2 weeks then officially got together on vday. fell in love with her and all. she wasnt just all looks. she had some brains, and she's a very very observant person, both visually and audibly.(she notices things that ppl normal would not notice, and she can hear songs played in macdonalds above the peak hr noise in the restaurant) anyway she's a gd gf, unfortunately one flaw would be, she is insecure and paranoid. severely. once her BEST fren(keywords best fren) happened to be looking at me, she thought her fren was checking me out, resulted in an arguement, and them not talking to each other for a yr. scary huh? anwyay was together with her for about 5mths, but it seemed like eternity to me. then broke up, due to her thinking i was fooling around(which i wasnt). later i got together with the 3rd gf for a while, before getting back with saharah for another 5mths, before again, losing her trust(not that i betrayed or cheated on her) and her breaking up again, this time, forever it seems. she was the one responsible for opening my eyes as to my own self worth and 'market' value and assisted in grooming me to my full potential. yes folks, this is where the ego started.
met where: sec sch
total time: 10mths

no.3 nazdrah(i think, usually just called her naz)
well, here i was interested in lin at first, i'll talk about her later, but long story cut short, while courting lin, i ended up falling for naz. unfortunately nothing solid was developed later on, and it was for a REALLY short time.
met where: irc, #starwars
total time: 2weeks(rofl, shortest personal record)

no.4 lin
well, she's a really cute girl, first person i ever chatted on irc. chinese muslim... sigh. exotic. anyway i asked to be her bf, but she had problems to settle, hence, to wait for a mth. while waiting, naz(no.3) was mutual fren, and while courting lin, interacted a lot with naz. after a mth of waiting, she was still wasnt ready. since i fell for naz, went for her instead. anyway months later, but i broke up with saharah, my liking for lin came back, tried my luck one last time, this time the response was sooner, a few days to a week i think, cant remember. but in the 2mths we were together, we onli went out ONCE. yes once. and even then with another of her fren. -.-" anyway she wasnt the serious relationships, and couldnt not commit as much as i could. mutual break up. nothing much i could do. then in our last conversation when we broke up, she suggested i give asra a chance, coz she suspects that she has an interest in me, which i suspected as well, but didnt really bother to find out or give her a chance.
met where: irc, #starwars
total time: 2mths

no.5 (edited)
as per requested, i have removed your reference here and anywhere else on my blog
met where: irc, #starwars
total time: 2yrs 3mths(longest running)

no.6 Jacqueline
well wat started as a joke to measure my capability as a kisser and fix her computer turned out to be something far worst it seems.. met her on irc on #starwars. apparently she came into the chan the period my adsl modem was down for 2weeks. by the time i got back on, she has been thoroughly briefed and informed concerning the channel owner. well done folks. fun but unnecessary burdun. nice to be advertised, having my photos blatantly sent to her and all but come on.. anyway after a while we chanced upon the topic of kissing. well since i only have ever kissed asra before, i wouldnt noe how well i kiss. and since jacq have kissed many different guys before would prolly noe. so on some nights before my poly sup paper exams, she came over to my void deck in the middle of the night for company. of coz if i stayed home i'd just be playing on the pc w/o studying. gd idea i thought. wrong. by the end of the 2nd nite, we have moved from the void deck to the nearby playground, and making out(for the record, she says i'm a great kisser, haha). by the 3rd nite, supposed to come over to fix the computer, ended up fixing her instead. for the next 3 consecutive nights. hah. man. as we went out more, she offered and happened to be more interesting than asra, soon i fell for her and had no choice but to choose.. then after getting together with her, things pretty much started to fall apart 6mths later. always broke, this and that. fucked up i say. but i still loved her to bits and refused to let go, going ahead with all the difficulties as a loving bf should have. unfortunately she's the outgoing social butterfly kind, well i'm the, well insecure and paranoid kinda bf. she loves to club, meet up with her frens, most of which consists of guys and ex-bf. drove me nuts. finally she couldnt stand my attitude anymore, and she broke up with me. unfortunately for me since i was still so in love with her, something pretty much died within me. i was a zombie for the next few months. but soon i learnt that that was for the best, for me at least, lest i get dragged down by her own problems, but somehow its still affecting me even now.. *pulls hair* here is where i started smoking and drinking as well. started out with sampoerna, and now prefer onli sobranie. if i have to smoke indonesia cigs, i prefer gudang garam. can smoke almost any brand. beer sucks, hard liqour rocks.
met where: irc, #starwars
total time: 1yr 2mths(2nd longest)

no.7 and current gf, rachel(3rd serious)
months pass, and i could NOT even get a date with anyone. ok i guess maybe i was asking the wrong ppl. i mean come on, i should be able to get anyone with my looks right? wrong. reality bites. anyway i was getting used to the fact that i dun have a significant half anymore, and that i'm single and all(cause i've been going thru relationships back to back, well almost, w/o any resting point, so this was kinda sudden) so nowadays i hang out more in #cosplay, since #starwars was pretty much dead coz almost no one goes there anymore. i've met quite a few of the cosplay ppl before at events and such. met rachel before both when we were both attached. though i didnt find anything spectacular(well coz her irc nick was Yunalesca, so i expected someone pretty =x, and if u spam or disturb her in irc, i will track u from your host address to your actual address, break into your house and kill you) at first, later on after few group outings, i turned up on her radar and she took an interest in me. i was kinda taken a back coz i never really set my sights on her at first. well one is coz i didnt really take nore of her, lol =x. before i knew it she asked me out for a date or 2, to see if things would develop. apparently when she knew me online, she onli knew me as an egotistical bastard/asshole. but she just hadnt seen the nicer side of me, which she did when we went on casual dating. now i dun want to have to screw things up, so instead of screwing the girl first, then get into a relationship later, i went by the book this time. she has become prettier and more attractive than the first time i ever met her. of coz wat my eyes cant seem to get off from, would be her boobs, lol. sorry but i'm wat Alfie would call a FBB guy. Face, Boobs, Butt. yes thats right. C cup onli ladies =x
she had everything imo. not the prettiest girl, but pleasant enuf for my preference. most of my frens seem to tell me its an upgrade from the prev one. haha. anyway i was always one who loved hourglass figures as well.. all this time i didnt noe coz she hid the figure rather well, until i held her waist i was like OMGWTFBBQ SHE HAS HOURGLASS I LIKE!! okok maybe not that bad a reaction but close enuf. soon i fell for her too and am still together with her right now.
met where: irc, #cosplay
total time: 6mths+ and running

phew, that was one long post. started at 2.23pm, and *checks time* after many calls and my dinner break later, i am finally done with this post, haha. anyway fans, expect a new song tonight, i bet u guys are tired of the haunting.

oh yeah, almost forgot. why chinese girls. well i have no interest or taste in Minahs, or stereotypical malay girls. similar to ahlians. most of which have no culture(being rowdy and that malay accent is so disgusting. and they prolly fuck around too) i want eng educated ones. smart, intelligent. pretty.boobs, able to match my wit,etc. yeah yeah, i want everthing. go read my blog theme, i'm guilty of being a perfectionist, pfft. and i thought i'd never date a chinese girl anymore and i was indeed looking for a malay/mixed one, but i just didnt have any luck. hope this also answers any queries on my preferences.

and i hope u guys pretty much figured out which of my ex is responsible for my poverty. ^^

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