Lonely Valentine's Day

sigh. can u believe it? single and alone on vday. eversince 2001.
feels really weird, haha. didn't really have a chance to like, go out with any girl even. sigh..

and many things have happened over this past weekend..
well, there was our usual weekly jam session, and then 2 birthday parties to attend after that, hahaha.

first was rachel's. her bday was is on the 15th of feb, but since it falls on a weekday, she decides to have it at a fren's pub on sat. well, it was fine until the saboh-ing started. flour and icing sugar were, 'thrown' at her, lol. oh and possibly some chocolate cake even. i was dressed to club, coz my godsis, manda, was gonna have her bday party at a club. they tried their best not to throw flour and what-nots at me too, coz apparently everyone was starting to get saboh-ed, not just the bday girl. and soon enough, my turn came. i was rather pissed off. but oh well, whatever. at least the dmg done wasn't that obvious, still can club, hahaha. and i just had a mug of beer that my gd fren, Peri, treated. left the place around... 12 odd i think, to meet manda and her frens.

they were at the bridge over singapore river behind Liang Court. manda brought a bottle of vodka, and some of them already were high, haha. manda, being the usual one who can't really hold her liquor, after downing just a bit of vodka, was really high, hahahaha. it was fun. but, thing was, even after a few cups of vodka, apparently i got really high too. i was so annoyed with myself. so little and i got high already. maybe it must be the mixture with just now's beer, and the fact i did down whatever vodka in a really short span of time, half an hr i think. went to Club Momo after that. music was crappy, kept switching from R&B to, well i dunno wtf they were playing. as usual i can't find the groove in the music, so i just moved to the bass beat. tsk.

then after all that went for supper at West Coast Park's mac. someone was driving, manda's fren's bf. after that me and manda checked into H81, lol. she was tired and wanted to crash somewhere, well me too la didn't really wanna go home. anyway i told my mum that i was attending a bday party at a chalet and staying over, so i can't just like go home that late. it was 5am by the time we hit H81 @ Chinatown. we had a make out session planned, but i didn't know the others weren't joining us in crashing at the hotel. well whatever. manda paid for an overnight one since transit would be a waste of money, but then transit wasn't available anymore to begin with. 5am check in, check out 12noon. well lotsa things happened, hahaha. and i'm not gonna go into detail of coz. *sticks tongue out* all i can say is we didn't really any get sleep, lol. u might be thinking we had sex, but no. all i'm gonna say is we covered all the bases cept the last one, heh. so go figure.

had 'breakfast' at BK @ pearl centre before going home together. sigh. what's bothering me right now is that, apparently i can't seem to stop thinking of her and missing her and all that. i dunno wtf all this means. i thought it was supposed to be some kind of emotional unattachment to it, but no. it's very irritating. it's amplified by the fact that she's going back to NZ this coming sat, and won't be back here for at least the next 5yrs.. gah. it's driving me nuts. i'm already imagine how much i'm gonna miss her company.. i'm already like predicting i might even cry at the airport, haha. i guess i've learnt that if i were ever to make out with someone i know, something might just stir inside me.. paid sex is a totally different thing mind u. sigh. i just hope it doesn't develop anymore. i can't afford this. it's like, suddenly, she became someone really special to me, lol. more than just a godsis. tsk. i mean i even started to chew that gum she bought for me from overseas just to have that sweet taste, to emulate the time when she 'passed' the gum to me while we were kissing, lol. and suddenly as well, the chocolate and the gum she got for me is much more preciously and valuable than it already was. ARGH.

oh and last nite met up with Anton, my ex-sup from that sword shop, Medieval Lions. apparently she got posted to Krumpler in KL and she's been working there eversince, coming back to sg once in a blue moon. miss her company so much.. we were so close, i even treated her like some big sister i never had.. brought manda along for the catch up session. had lotsa fun bitching and gossiping, hahahaha. sigh.. the gd old times.. man i'm really getting uber nostalgic.. sigh

oh well. works sucks as usual, office politics is driving me nuts. i'm so close to punching someone i hate at work. i'm so close to going up to my officer and ask for a transfer back to BRTC(Basic Rescue Training Camp, where recruits receive their basic training before getting posted out) and become an Instructor in my old company.. there seems to be an aura of dislike towards me which is starting to crack me up. tsk.. sigh.. leave me alone guys.. why must u hate me? i've done nothing wrong dammit..

well i've posted a new song too, since i'm feeling emo and all, i guess this song kinda suits what i'm feeling, i think. i can't be sure anymore at this point of time..

presenting Not Quite Paradise from Bliss 66. first came out in Titan A.E's OST. song was featured at the end of the show, at the start of the credits. really nice song.. and here's the lyrics.. enjoy..

Not Quite Paradise by Bliss 66

Take the path that leads to resistance
To the great unknown
No directory assistance
Now your on your own
But if you're looking for a new world
Just open up your eyes

Chorus:
Because it's not quite paradise
But it sure feels like home
Not quite paradise
We can rent to own
It'll be alright
No it's not quite
Paradise

Tomorrow's an illusion
Yesterday's a dream
Today is a absolution
But you gotta let it be
If your looking for the answer
It's right before your eyes

Although it's not quite paradise
It sure looks like home
Not quite paradise
We are not alone
It'll be alright
No it's not quite
Paradise

Somewhere from the edge of time
When the poets gather,
words don't rhyme
I'll call you up and say
we made it ok

Somewhere in the back of your mind
When will see your demons come to life
And the world just fades away
You know it's ok

But it's not quite paradise
But it sure feels like home
Not quite paradise
We can make this place our own
Not quite paradise
We can rent to own
Not quite paradise
We don't have to be alone
Not quite paradise
No No, No No, No No
Not quite paradise
But it sure feels like home