Going nuts slowly

well, things are still at screwy.

ns seems better now, since that seargent clearing his leave/off before ORD. the one that's dislikes me and gives me problems and stuff. don't wanna get into that. anyway i'm falling asleep less often at work(thank god) and being more active, which i'm so proud of. hopefully i don't screw up anymore and get thrown into ROTA.

but the times when i really don't have anything to do, when all is quiet, my mind starts churning about my love life. then the memories of rachel start pouring back in. it's annoying. gd times spent and all. i can't believe i still think of her now. well only when my mind's not busy that is..

gah. anyway things are still screwy with saharah too. she's pissed at me for a lot of things. i don't have the energy to meet up with her and settle things. i just want to leave things alone for now... if you're reading this saharah, well i need time alone from u for now, and i want u to cool down too.

anyway on the topic of changing for the better. well i do tend to change, but usually for someone, and usually when that someone is someone special. yeah. otherwise i'll just do what i want to do now. and repent later. unless there's someone special to change for at this point of time la.

yeah. things are still the same. no girls chasing me. sigh. so sad.. lol =x

ps: sorry if i sound a bit dysfunctional. can't help feeling this way. can't think of anything positive to write anyway too.. yeah