switch of music quality & the crazy thing i did

ok folks, i've removed the mp3 vers, and put up the usual wma format. this time everyone should be able to see the player and stop the music or replay if necessary. previously with the mp3 format, the player wasn't there.

the mp3, although in stereo and higher bit rate, but the initial recording quality was really bad. so i made an effort to re-encode directly into wma, tho onli at 48kbps and mono, it sounds clearer in a way.

anyway about removing a certain someone from all the entries in my blog.. i will get to that soon.. i can't seem to find the time.

oh and a little update. about the crazy thing that i said i would do. since i had half day today, i went with rachel to this electronic store called Polwel located into the Cantonment Police HQ. it has special benefits from Police and CD NSF. you can get anything u want from there up to a total of $1k and they will give you a 1yr installment. and all one needed to pay was $12. $10 for administration, $2 for membership fees, a one time thing.

being the lovesick person i am, i did what others would think crazy. i got yunnie a Sony PSP together with a 1gb memory stick, lol =D. totalling $585. of coz this was not only just a christmas present for her, it was part of an elaborate plan to win her back, which even if it fails, would serve as make up for all the screw ups i've done in the relationship..

of coz that's not all i got. got a new microwave oven for my family. the old one died many months ago, and it's been hard w/o a microwave so i thought i'd do my bit for the family. and i got myself the latest mp3 discman from Sony. don't preach to me about mp3 players and such, i know both their advantages and disadvantages and i feel more comfortable with a mp3 discman. it rocks man, can't wait to try it tmr =D.

i should sleep soon.. hope i can do that maintainence thingy tmr nite... it's been dragging for far too long.. sorry i'm taking too long asra..

Only One

as promised, lyrics to the current song posted. the page may take a while to load as the song was uploaded in its, relatively, higher quality stereo mp3 format. usually i'd go thru some trouble to make it 48kbit mono wma so that it's smaller, tho not necessarily worst quality, and of coz to prevent this blog from looking like some mp3 distributing site.

tmr i'm gonna be doing something, that to everyone, seem like something.. unheard of. it's something to do with rachel. more on that next post. now i have to sleep. it's 2.14am and i have to wake up around 6am to get to work lol. half day tmr.

without any further delays, i present Only One by Yellowcard

Only One

Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason

I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you so you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one

Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won't walk out until you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one who gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one

Here I go so dishonestly
Leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
My only one
My only one
You are my only, my only one

An end to a Fairy Tale

well, some more updates. more later i hope.
just woke up, preparing to attend my mum's cousin wedding.

i'm going nuts. that's all i can say.
nothing's helping.

i can't get her out of my head. she revolves around my world.
i'd do anything to get her back.. but it all just seems so futile..

apparently in a conversation with her.. the truth to the break up finally comes out
she hates my whining and compaining. and it so happens that i have a voice of a whiner..
she hates the fact that i always having financial issues. jacq if you're reading this, pls, i need that money back, and my starwars dvd. it's been 1yr + overdue
she hates that i'm too clingy, not independant and that she can't find the freedom to do the things she want.
lastly, the reason that hit me the most, and is still lingering my mind and forcing me to stay my hand.. if indeed there was someone out there that was the 'one' for her.. and he can't approach just because she's with me... then it'll be a loss for her. others may argue that she's only coming 21 and it's still a long way to go, but thing is, she would prolly be migrating out of the country at the age of 25, so there's not much time left..
and these are essentially the things that she had been putting up with since the start of the relationship and she feels that these are the things that i cannot change, hence telling me that the fault is hers, nothing to do with me.

at least i feel better knowing that she told me the truth. i'm not that hurt by it, i expect frank and honest feedback. and i would have prefered if she told me about this things much much earlier, coz i definately would have done something about it. those who have known me for a very long time, would remember that i was once full of ego and always full of horny/dirty jokes.. but somewhere along the line i ceased such things. why? because rachel told me how offending and put off such things were. and i constantly reminded myself about such things till the point where i really stopped being ego and stuff. she could have told me...

what am i to do now..
i know i shouldn't, but i can't help myself.. i'm dying for companionship. it didn't help when rachel was not only a significant half, but she was my best friend as well.. and losing her create such anbig empty space in my social life and heart..

anyway more tonight, have to go to the wedding now.. laters