BREAKDOWN!

heh. man i love that song. managed to get the arcade vers. but unfortunately its like, studio vers, not 100% arcade vers, but still sounds better than the live vers. i'll prolly upload the song next(might be annoying to some of u ppl, so just bare with it for a few mins, for the next few days until i get my Kamelot album) when i come home from work tonight.

sigh. soccer might be cancelled tonight, not enuf ppl to play it. ankle still hurts slightly when flexed too much, was hoping to practise it more and hope to get back in fitness, before my napfa test for enlistment. oh well. maybe i'll go play guitar freaks or ghost squad, by far the most interesting games i play there.(i usually play top down airplane shooters like Strikers1942 series) one on one fighting games do not interest me, was never gd in them. its either shooting games like Time Crisis, or airplane shooters.

speaking of which guitar freaks have re-awakened my interest in wanting to play the guitar again, unfortunately i pretty much forgotten everything. well almost everything. i cant even remember to play my fav song, Black Hole Sun by SoundGarden! unexpected. best thing is, all my guitar tabs are lost. cant remember wat happened to them. maybe i lost them when i reformatted my pc last year. sigh. i cant remember the diff chords and such. i guess i'm gonna have to restart from scratch once again.

well's pay's coming. means i wont be broke anymore. vicious cycle. always broke few days after pay. i might be in a decently paid job, but i dun feel like i ever got much positive gains from it so far for a very very long time. maybe a month or so, but i'm back in that cycle(i dun need to explain much about this right? its wat i've always bitched about, lmao)wats the use of being well paid(for my lvl and age that is) when i dun get to spend my money much. my wardrobe is the same for a year odd. i've not bought new clothes nor that deuter air comfort i've been aiming when i just got together with rachel, nor have i had the chance to get a new harddisk. speaking of which its like 3yrs more or less already? i hope it doesnt die before i get a new one.. my cd burner's dead too. can onli read cds, hah. i'm gonna have to do some upgrade and maintainence before i get enlisted, it'll suck if pc breaks down with no one else around to help at home.

hopefully i'll be able to afford a mac in the future. i really do want to get back to my video editing hobby. i've so many projects i've always been wanting to do, but i just dun have enuf cpu speed to process, empty space on hdd to store the raw video, nor enuf ram to do efficient editing.
there's that LOTR extended trilogy music video i wanted to do using Blind Guardian's And Then There Was Silence track.
and.. and.. a music video for Kamelot's Feast For The Vain using Phantom Of The Opera scenes(have to wait for the dvd release i guess)
gee, i bet there's still more that i've prolly forgotten..
sigh

finally i realised something. i just cleanly shaved my face. i look a hell lot fucking younger now. and i realised that.. i might be handsome/good looking/etc, but.. i dun think i have that x factor, or attractive. think brad pitt. no i'm not saying i'm like him. pfft. wat i'm saying is that. he's not like handsome, maybe a bit good looking, but ultimately there's some sort of x factor that makes me severely attractive to a lot of women out there. always had this debate with my frens. being handsome/pretty does not mean ur attractive. i've seen a lot of drop dead gorgeous girls, but not all of them are appealing to me. vice versa for me as well i guess. i look gd, but i dun have that charismatic and appealing x factor.. sigh. not like i'll ever need it anymore i guess. but it would have been flattering..

argh. wtf. why am i typing all this?

someone help..