she's gone.... (for nearly a week that is, heh)

*insert song She's Gone by Steelheart*

maybe i'll put that up later when i get back home. heh
well rachel's gone for the weekend and more. off to japan with her family for holidays on sat evening and wont be back till like, wed afternoon or thurs morning. its onli sunday and i already miss her... T.T

sigh. feel so lonely and empty already. i think i'm addicted to love. not those kind which frens and family can give, but the kind whom that special someone can give.. *fwaps wankers with rolled newspaper* and no i'm not talking about lust and sex. i'm talking about the emotions and feelings. *fwaps wankers again* those in your heart, not the physical ones. i have to elaborate, coz with my rep, everyone thinks i'm a dirty minded mofo who prolly is a playboy and many gfs or sleeps around at least -.-'
(of coz with a gay fren constantly trying to get into my pants, i'm not surprised)

granted i talk a LOT about sex, but that doesnt mean i sleep around -.-'

i'm an honourable fella. call me a mcp(male chauvinist perfectionist) if u want, but i'm no sexist and will never degrade women(unless someone actually tried giving a bad name to the female species) and why a mcp? i'm not saying we men are superior coz i do believe that there are certain things guys can do that women cant, and vice versa. god's fair and the world is in balance, from a certain of view that is. i'm saying that i am chauvinistic about certain things, honour and the need to treat women right, and defend them when the need arises(yes i've been reading too much fantasy/medieval stuff, i AM a hopeless romantic anyway) but this isnt a post about that. and i dun cheat in games, esp in maple story where i see a lot of ppl using game hacks, and best of all, some of my close collegues are using it.
-_-' wtf? oh well i shall not start my self-righteous talk and preach to them on ethics. sleep around? i dun do that, its pointless, its not even half as gd as if done with someone u love.. when the emotional attachement isnt there it feels like crap. i'm sure u wankers noe wat i mean. the one time i ever did something similar, remotely similar even, it screwed the rest of my life. its like karma, once u pull a crazy stunt like that, it'll come full circle to kick u back in the ass one day and serve your ass on a silver platter. well i'm glad to be out of that circle, my karma is over(or so i hope) so as long as i dun pull off anymore crazy stunts, i dun need to worry bout screwing up my life anymore. and as with my 'i'm an honourable person' statement, i'm adamant about uploading such values, from something trivial like gaming, to something important like relationships.

man.. i miss her so much... the emptiness reminds me of my prev break-up with jacq, cept that i'm over that, and this is something temporary. she was supposed to sms me when she reached japan, saying she has activated her auto-roaming on her mobile line, but nothing yet. personally i think maybe she hadnt coz non of my sms got thru to her, not to mention if i were ever to call her, it'll be diverted directly to her voicemail. SIGH.

well do hope that its because her auto-roaming isnt activated that i cant get to her, and coz of a plane crash. that'll suck, then the emptiness will once again become permanent..

well i hope ur doing fine dear... come back to me k? i miss u so much already.. (yeah yeah sputter and die u wankers,go read something else if this is too mushy for u)